A Letter to the Graduates of the University of Central Oklahoma (2022)

I really should not be allowed to watch documentary films. I can think of countless films that forced me to climb a new soapbox and preach. From human trafficking to protecting dolphins in Japan, these films have a way of exciting a dormant passion living within me. This passion has translated into signing petitions, emailing my elected officials, and even a few protests. Then, my energy wanes. The flame that made me want to change the world slowly flickers and dies without an organization to harness my passion.  

Entering my senior year of college at the University of Central Oklahoma, I watched An Inconvenient Truth by Al Gore. As the credits rolled, I found myself angry, shocked, and in desperate need of something to do. Over the summer, I launched a Facebook group for other concerned students and reached out to members of the Young Democrats. I also began looking at my own life and considering personal decisions I could make to improve the health of the planet.  

Then the flame flickered.  

In my senior year of college, I had a simple goal for myself. At the annual Broncho Leadership Awards, I wanted to be recognized as Senior of the Year (spoiler alert; I wasn’t). To achieve this goal, I knew I had to be more involved on campus. I threw myself into my major and countless student organizations. I also began seriously volunteering and took every leadership position offered. One of those positions was on the Vice President of Student Affairs’ Leadership Council.  

If I recall correctly, they formed the council to help uncover and work on areas of improvement across the entire university. Anything affecting the student body was fair game. This meant no issue was too big, small, or challenging for this group. They encouraged us to speak our minds and lead where possible. In one of those meetings, I recognized an opportunity for the candle to burn brighter.  

Nervously, I mentioned UCO’s green initiatives and where I thought they fell short. UCO had shifted all their energy consumption to carbon neutral sources, but I believed we should do more. I thought we should encourage carpooling/mass transit, and we should build a campus-wide recycling and compost system.  

It was an enormous challenge, with lots of moving parts and even more concerned parties. The Vice President of Student Affairs, Dr. Kathryn Gage, could have politely listened to my concerns, promised to investigate it, and filed it away as something to tackle when time allowed. Instead, she encouraged me to do more. She opened doors for me, gave me space to take my concerns to campus leadership, and offered resources to address the problem. She invited me to help plan UCO’s Annual Earth Day event and gave me permission to change the event with a focus on shifting the conversation.  

She gave me ample space to lead, and that space changed the course of my life. Months after a successful Earth Day event, I was a graduate from UCO. I was still working at Hideaway Pizza. I filled my days with pizzas and job searches. Out of the blue one day, Dr. Gage visited for lunch. She explained she was launching a brand-new office of Commuter Student Services and strongly encouraged me to apply.  

A month later, I began my professional journey as the first Coordinator of Commuter Student Services at the University of Central Oklahoma. That professional journey has taken me across the country. It has pulled me from Oklahoma to Seattle, from Seattle to Los Angeles, and back to Seattle. It now finds me serving what I believe to be the cause of my life as I work alongside committed men and women attempting to solve the affordable housing crisis for our neighbors.  

In countless ways, I find myself at this stage in my life because someone took a chance on me and believed in my ability to change our campus. I will never forget that, nor will I ever be able to repay the debt.  

This story brings me to the point of this letter. Most of the people who will stumble across this letter are people I went to school with between 2002 and 2007. Many of you now find yourselves in leadership positions with people reporting to you. At work and in our communities, we have shifted from mentees to mentors. Before us all are endless opportunities to change the course of someone’s life by creating a space for them to challenge the status quo and attempt something new.  

A seasoned leader at UCO took a chance on me. When I recognized this, I was bound and determined to not miss this opportunity. I did not want to disappoint myself, but I also did not want to disappoint her. When someone displays their belief in you, this can become an engrossing thought.   

As leaders, we can begin fostering and shaping the next generation of leaders. We can create space for leaders to blossom, fail, learn, grow, and expand the canopy of their own impact by countless degrees. As you look around your office or take stock of personal relationships, think of someone who is just beginning their journey. Better yet, think of someone from a marginalized group who you can mentor. Offer to take them out for coffee or lunch. Ask them open-ended questions about their hopes and dreams. Tell them your story and offer to be a resource for them. Leave the meeting with a plan to continue coming together to discuss new ideas and ways for them to grow. Let them know you're invested in their success, even if that success means their journey takes them somewhere else.  

As humans, we often think making a difference in this world can only be accomplished with grand and sweeping changes. When we realize the size and scope of change is too large for one person to accomplish, we can lose our resolve. Instead, let’s make a habit of thinking of the square we stand in and choose to make change there. For me and my square, I am hoping to be a mentor for the next generation. I hope you will join me.  

 Be good to each other,  

Nathan  

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Loving the Global Village

Nationalism may be winning the day, but it won’t win the war. Despite our leaders’ collective turn inward and toward isolationism, the world is more connected than ever before. Economies rise and fall together. New waves of communicating bring everything into the daylight. We’ve grown to depend on one another; whether some like that or not is irrelevant. Our ability to communicate with someone on the other side of the globe makes tearing down the global village impossible. Instead, I think we should embrace this era of connectedness. Perhaps, now we can truly be our brother’s keeper.

All major religions and even those traditions without a focus on a supreme being and instead possessing a more humanistic focus ask us to love our neighbors as ourselves. We are commanded by those we worship or a moral imperative to give of ourselves to our fellow man. In the global village, those needs are getting harder to ignore. Transportation, the written word, radio, television, and now the internet has made it impossible to turn a blind eye to those in a more desperate station than our own. We can choose to ignore this information and complain, or we can get to work.

In this new global village, we can focus on those who look and think like us or we can create something new and profound meant to improve the lives of all people. Despite politics, our aims shouldn’t be that different. We want the best for our families. We want safe neighborhoods, good schools, a sense of the possible, and a clear path to achieving it. We want to live without blood on our hands and to die knowing we did our best. No matter where you fall on the political spectrum, these goals are universal. We may disagree on the best way to get there, but the goals remain the same.

Turning inward is to ignore the ideals we have been preaching since the dawn of our republic. For a long time, we have been a beacon. As Americans, we have staked our claim on the power of liberty, freedom, and unleashed prosperity. We have been indoctrinated to believe these claims and we have traveled from foreign shore to foreign shore with the same message. Where other arguments have failed, ours withstood the test of time. Now, when the world is more connected than ever before and it is simpler to spread our message, is not the time to take our toys and go home. We can lead the next wave of humanity. We can rally countries and people across the globe in a spirit of caring and mutual advancement. To do anything less than this is to forfeit the very notion of who we are.

No one knows what the next breakthrough in technology will be, but I feel safe betting that it too will bring us closer together and, if used properly, will make it easier to get work done. It will also unleash boundless opportunities to heal the ills of a prior generation. I, for one, hope my country is on the forefront of that breakthrough and once again returns to a leadership role of ensuring all boats are lifted with the tides of change.

Be good to each other,

-Nathan

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Things I Used to Believe, Part III

I used to believe the leadership needed to be loud. Leadership needed to be speeches, pep talks, and strategy reinforced to anyone who would listen. As a person, who is attempting to be a leader in his own right, I now realize my arrogance as an extrovert. I looked at the people I admire. They gave big speeches, constantly worked to encourage large swaths of people, and always vocalized the vision and how to get there. In my snobbery, I looked down on those introverts who move mountains more quietly. I thought of them as incapable and unable to motivate others. I am now discovering that I couldn’t have been more wrong.

A leader can be quiet and still be a force to be reckoned. When I think about how Bill Gates has changed philanthropy through his giving and the role he possesses at the Gates Foundation, I don’t see an extrovert changing the world. Without a doubt, he is giving speeches at the UN, using social media channels to influence others, and meeting with heads of state. Still, I see someone who is uncomfortable in those positions. I imagine someone much more comfortable with behind the scenes work, focused on policy, and in the presence of small teams attempting to do the most good.

When I look at my own life, I now realize to lead I don’t need to move masses. I can lead in one-to-one interactions. I can lead a team. I can lead an organization with nothing more than my actions. I can retire notions often used in movies of leaders of rebellions giving big talks about the moment at hand. Instead, I can begin to discover the power of building relationships with those around me. The motivation I hope to amplify can be found in nothing more than my willingness to do good in this world.

To be a leader, it is not necessary to change the world. We are to commit ourselves to the idea of changing someone’s world. When we make this commitment, we set ourselves up to partake in a ripple effect. Our change begins small and works its way outward. With every circle, a larger group of people, places, and things are encircled. Eventually, these ripples will reach the water’s edge. When they do, we should find joy in the distance they have traveled, no matter the size of the body of water.

So, I am here to formally apologize to all those introverts out there changing the world. I see you. I understand you. I respect you. Perhaps, most important of all, I can’t wait to mirror your leadership for a change.

Be good to each other,

-Nathan

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True North

I point my ship in the direction of people who inspire me. They push. Motivate me. Move me. They make me want to be better. They act like a true north. They are a star shining brightest in the blackest of nights. I have been lucky to count a great number of people as friends, acquaintances and people I’ve never met, but who have unknowingly passed wisdom onto me, as mentors in some form or fashion. My hope is that I’ve been able to provide the same experience to those who needed it.

Those who lift me up deserve acknowledgement. Those who impact us need to be told. The act of filling people up should be a two way street. So, for all of those who’ve ever written a note, sent an email, called or invited me out for drinks, thank you. These experiences changed me. While I may not have been the best at expressing my gratitude, you should know your lessons are kept to this day. In my darkest times, you were a true north. For that, I will be eternally grateful.

We as men have to do a better job at laying praise at the feet of those who move us. I have to do better. Too often, our pride gets in the way. The shame of asking for help must be retired. We are human. We will fail. On occasion, we will need someone to pick us up. Be full of thanksgiving when someone offers to be there for you.

But, let’s keep in mind the world is changing. We are stuck in an endless feedback loop. We are whores for attention. Let’s not confuse real friendship and mentorship for the drive-by likes, comments, shares and retweets that plague our modern world. Real relationships are nurtured in the real world; face to face. Only here, can you find your true north. We all deserve a true north.

Instead of the feedback loop, let’s shine a light on those who need it most. Let’s pay forward the impact we have received. We should foster real relationships. We should seek out mentors. When and if possible, we should help point others in the right direction.

Thanks for entering my world,

-Nathan

I Want To Lead

What makes us, as human beings, stand up, defy the comfortable, and declare to the world, "I will lead?" Is this learned or an inherent trait? 

While society wrestles with these big questions, I write this willing and waiting to lead. I choose this way, because of a desire to serve my fellow man. I know I have been blessed with unique talents that could be used to fulfill selfish aims. There is no way I could find satisfaction in that. My willingness to stand up was nurtured from life experiences and a firm belief that I have the power to make a difference. 

Leading is not about feeding my ego, but I am fully aware some ego is needed to lead. Without a doubt, I feel proud when I lead and direct. Hearing praise is like a drug. I need it, but it is not why the job is done. The work is about those on the receiving end. It is about their needs and shifting the direction of their lives toward the most positive outcome. 

This brings me to the goal: To be called a visionary, but again, not for my own benefit. I want to lead organizations and volunteer groups because I am creative, a problem solver, and possess the ability to bring people together around a common goal. If I can use those talents to create a vision and move the needle toward a more just world, I would die calling this life well lived. 

Thanks for entering my world, 

-Nathan