An Honest Post

The things below will not be easy for you to hear. It will come as a surprise or it will fulfill what you may have known for some time. My goal is not to put the inclinations and chatter to rest, but rather my goal is start a conversation. I will state my feelings and it is my solemn hope we can discuss from there. 

Since the age of 13, I have been confused about my sexuality. While I have confined my public relationships to those of the opposite sex, I assure you this; I have waged a very private battle. I tire of this war. This hell is part self made and part constructed from without. Both have converged within me to create a burden I shoulder, until now. 

Now, I choose to come out. Not as a gay man, or a bisexual man or a straight man, but as a man with a fluid sexuality. I desperately don't want to be put in a box or labeled. I am also not seeking permission to hold these beliefs or feelings. Rather, I am confessing. 

The Nathan Box you know and love has not changed. I am still addicted to politics, movies, sports, current events, education, reading, writing, traveling and a myriad of other things used to describe me. Who I choose to love is such a small piece of who I am, but it is who I am. 

Those with a differing worldview or long held religious beliefs may think I am committing some great sin. It is not my goal to change your mind. I am seeking tolerance. I am seeking acceptance. More than anything, I am seeking your love. 

The road that lies before me may be a hell much harder than any that has come before it. In these difficult days, I will need friends and family more than ever. I am not asking you to shoulder the burden. Rather, I am asking you to have my back. I am asking for the most gracious display of unconditional love. 

Thanks for entering my world, 

-Nathan 

Help!

There is no shame in seeking help. You aren't admitting weakness if you stand up and ask for some assistance in sorting your life out. In fact, you may be displaying real strength by doing so. 

Our problems are real and on occasion the world doesn't play nice. While most of us are equipped to deal with these issues as they arise, we without a doubt will be faced with burdens too great and a force too mighty for us to shoulder. 

When in this place, we can and should reach out to family, friends or if that isn't an option, professional counseling. Just talking through your issues will unseat your burden. As cliche as it may sound, "the truth shall set you free." The act of opening up is half the battle. 

Thanks for entering my world, 

-Nathan