A Dream Realized (February 2024)

February Update
Weight (212) -5 lbs. since 1/1/24
Workout Days (13)

The response to this series has been beyond my wildest expectations. In the first few months of 2021, I felt tremendous support. As I moved through that year, 2022, and 2023, you kept reading and providing motivation. Because of you, I decided to continue journaling my journey toward a more improved image of my body. I am choosing to share this journey because my triumphs and struggles are not my own. I don’t know a single person who hasn’t struggled with their weight and self-confidence. For those who are just beginning this journey to those miles ahead of me, I want everyone who stumbles across this series to know they are not alone.  

Weight Loss  
I began 2024 with a simple wish. I wanted a more balanced diet. I didn’t want to punish myself for a sweet tooth or indulging in those foods we all know shouldn’t be at the center of our diets. I wanted to eat more fresh fruits and vegetables. I wanted to eat less carbs and fried foods. Nearly two months into the new year, I am down five pounds. I still have a long way to go to achieve my goal weight, but I find myself a little less fearful of the bathroom scale.  

Diet  
I often lose my weight loss battle in the kitchen. The thing I am trying to get better at is mindful eating. Eating without regard has so often kept me from reaching my goals. With everything I eat, I want to spend a moment thinking of the why. Why am I eating this? Am I bored? Craving something? Is this bringing me joy? Will it bring me closer to my goals? If I can get to a place where those answers are trending in a more positive direction, I feel confident I will inch toward a better diet.  

Mental Health  
Oddly, despite the struggles and challenges, I think I am arriving at a place of acceptance. I will never be as skinny as I was in high school. I will never be anyone’s source of muscular envy. Instead, I just want to be happy with the person staring back at me in the mirror. If he and I can find joy, my mental health should follow suit.  

Workouts  
I have fallen back in love with running. After a long absence from the sport, I decided to begin training for a half marathon. The last time I ran such a race was in my mid-twenties, but I remember those days fondly. With a race day marked on the calendar, I have discovered a new source of motivation. For months, I have been running and plan to run a race this summer. With every new starting line, I feel myself getting faster and stronger. When I think of working out, that’s all I desire.  

Be good to each other,  

Nathan  

My Dream Job at 34

On a sunny day in Los Angeles, I catch myself daydreaming. Seven months into a philanthropy job at a permanent supportive housing provider, my mind drifts to greener pastures. I am not the world’s best fundraiser, so I ponder on things that might better suit my talents. Passionate about bringing communities together around a common cause and the world of cinema, I formulate my dream job. At 34, I know the next few moments may end up as nothing more than wishful thinking, but I can’t help it. Perhaps the consideration, writing, and sharing will be enough to open a door.  

If I could do anything in the world, I would open a small, independent, art-house cinema. A shifting media landscape says this is a dangerous business, but I cannot help but think my approach might somehow be different.  

If money were no object, this cinema of mine would feature three screens. At any given time, we would feature a new popular release, something independent, and a classic film. The centerpiece of this cinema would be a restaurant and bar. The space would feature long communal tables and spaces designed to bring people together. My hope would be to encourage post-film discussion.  

Our mission would be simple. We would aim to introduce people to the transformative power of cinema through screenings, discussions, festivals, and community events. We would aim for more than a transactional experience. We want people to visit our theater and linger long after the credits for discussion and debate. In those exchanges, we long for a free flow of ideas.  

We would staff the bar, restaurant, and cinema with a combination of volunteers, year-round staff, and formerly homeless people. Much like the Fare Start model, we would aim to teach people about what is required to run a business. We would focus our training program on their future and helping them succeed wherever their path might unfold.  

I would love the cinema, bar, and restaurant to be the centerpiece of a growing and diverse community. I would love for it to be the anchor of a burgeoning art scene and a clarion call for similar organizations to join us.  

I want film buffs and those wanting to learn more about the art form to feel welcome. Have you never watched Citizen Kane? No worries, you are welcome here. Have you seen it multiple times, appreciate what it means to American cinema, but does its biggest plot hole drive you insane? Welcome friend, I too have some opinions.  

I see no need for a massive chain. This dream is not without risk, and those risks may be more than I can bear, yet my mind cannot stop dreaming this dream.  

Be good to each other,  

Nathan

Quotes That Move Me

"Our determination to cling to unsustainable dreams was congruent with - maybe even identical to - our drive to bankrupt ourselves as rapidly as possible." -Jonathan Franzen

My America

In my America, we live out the challenge of Dr. Martin Luther King; content of character over the color of skin. 

In my America, everyone contributes to the engine of our society, but we help those, who through no fault of their own, have limitations. 

In my America, religion and government live comfortably in separate houses. 

In my America, you are free to love whomever you please without fear of judgement or persecution. 

In my America, people carry clout with politicians rather than corporations or lobbyists. 

In my America, your gun is just a tool for the responsible. 

In my America, we are our brother's keeper. 

In my America, we are unafraid to invest in the future. 

In my America, we respect the environment. 

In my America, we use diplomacy first and the military last. 

In my America, we don't operate under some false desire to be the greatest country in the world. Instead, we focus on being the best we can be. 

In my America, we are confident, but never arrogant. 

In my America, we understand our place in the world. With that power, comes a tremendous responsibility to the downtrodden, the victimized, the defenseless, the poor, the diseased, the disenfranchised. Their plight should always be at the forefront of our minds motivating us and drawing us nearer to the cause which led to the founding of this country we so dearly love. 

Thanks for entering my world, 

-Nathan 

Quotable Me

"Last night, I dreamed Kurt Cobain was alive and well. And he and Eddie Vedder were playing acoustic shows across the country singing Nirvana and Pearl Jam songs. And I got to sit front row at every show." 

"Dear Mr. President and Congress, I have a fantastic idea for a piece of legislation. I call it, "The No One Should Be Allowed to Operate a Decommissioned Police Car, Because It Scares Us, Causes Elevated Heart Rate and Tightening of the Hindquarters, All Unnecessarily, Act of 2013." 

Thanks for entering my world, 

-Nathan 

D.O.J.

I am a Fund Developer, because of the death of journalism. Once upon a time, I aspired to be the next Peter Jennings or Tom Brokaw. I wanted to help people make the rights decisions through powerfully told stories. 

The modern day world of journalism has very little to do with the truth and has everything to do with your version of the truth. 

Frustrated by the right and left wing spin on the news, I decided to fight back with my own political talk show. I tried to be fair. Every show featured two sides to the argument. I always saved my opinion for the very end, but it didn't take me long to realize I was a part of the problem. So, I walked away from my dream. 

I don't regret this decision in the least. I regret that something I love has been destroyed. Objectivism has been replaced by those chasing ratings and the almighty dollar. What's worse? I don't know of anyone who knows how to fix it. 

Thanks for entering my world, 

-Nathan