When I look back at my four years in Seattle, one simple word comes to mind; confidence. Those impossible things, those things I didn’t see myself as brave enough to accomplish, those moments when I was flushed with doubt are now gone. Life without a safety net has been responsible for these moments. I summed up a few moments of bravery and decided my situation in Edmond was not making me happy. Bravery lets me pack up my belongings, say goodbye to family and friends, and it allowed me to unclasp my grasp on a prospering career. All of this was done, every decision, every moment of courage, because I wanted to be happy.
Four years later, I am not the same Nathan. I am more confident than ever before. Walking high wires, I found a career which will serve as a launching pad to the things I want to accomplish with this life. I have surrounded myself with friends who are accepting and supportive. I have found volunteer opportunities that allow me to explore my passion and positively contribute to my community. I am more confident in relationships, because the fear of being myself is gone. I am a better leader who is ready and willing to serve. Perhaps these strengths would have been developed in time while living in my former home, but I wholeheartedly believe occupying space in the discomfort zone helped me get here.
Living here, I have been called to summon more moments of bravery than I ever thought possible. I had to apply for jobs, find new friends, seek out new groups to support, be brave in my pursuit of higher education, more important than anything, I had to let people in. I had to let them judge me based upon my character not long held religious or political beliefs. These moments have been empowering and I will cherish them for the rest of my life.
From here, I feel as if I can go anywhere and do anything. As a child, like most kids, I was often told I could accomplish anything I set my mind to. I have always believed this to be true, but after four years in Seattle I am ready to proselytize this belief. If you find yourself stuck or lacking confidence, if you grow tired of a life unchallenged, I recommend a dip in a world of discomfort. You will discover new and exciting things about yourself. You will test your limits. You will be called upon to summon insane moments of bravery. Now, you don’t have to move across the county or the world to do this. I do recommend it for those who feel the tug in that direction, but it isn’t for everyone. You can do it by breaking routines, applying for new jobs, expanding your inner circle or even making a trip across that bar. Our bodies and minds are built to avoid conflict and moments of dissonance. I say embrace them. I say take them on with everything you have. You may fail. You may fall flat on your face, but you will absolutely learn vital and life affirming things about yourself. This journey of yours should be consumed with a search to discover and rediscover those moments. All that is required is a little confidence.
Thanks for entering my world,
-Nathan