Over the summer, I wrote a piece for this site sharing my struggle with infertility and the challenge my husband and I were having starting a family; something we both want.
I actually wrote about it several times posting pieces to my own blog and even having one of my pieces shared by another blogger I like. I received a lot of feedback - not all positive - but it was still nice to see my words creating a reaction in people. Even if they disagreed with me.
Some of the information I left out about our struggle is that while, yes, we’ve only been trying to start a family for a little more than a year (only a year - that was some of the reader feedback I received. As if a year isn’t a lifetime when you want something so badly), we’ve been together for nine years. I suppose I should have chosen better adjectives when discussing our quest of starting a family - perhaps mindfully, purposefully trying would have been a better way to define our situation. But, my doctor didn’t seem to need those disclaimers - she immediately went to work to help determine a cause for the difficulty.
We birth underwent testing and all of the results came back fine. Unexplained infertility was the “official” diagnosis. I tried a lot of holistic treatments to reduce stress in my body; massage therapy, acupuncture, chiropractic adjustments, eating foods that are supposed to increase fertility, eliminating overly processed foods, mindful breathing techniques during especially stressful times at work. None of it worked. At least not for what I wanted it to work for - massage therapy and acupuncture were both great for stress reduction and relaxation, something I certainly need.
Eventually, I looked toward modern medicine and my doctor prescribed Clomid. She told me up front that we would only be able to do three rounds of this oral medication. After that, we’d have to explore alternative fertility methods like IVF.
I took my first round with eager anticipation - I just knew this was going to work. And then it didn’t. Same with the second round. I began my third and final round with defeat and prepared myself for the inevitable conversation I would have to have with my doctor to get a referral to a fertility specialist.
But, that disappointment never came. To my very great delight, after more than a year of trying to get pregnant, I did! I cried. And smiled. And cried some more. And then freaked out a little because, OMG I’m going to have a baby! And then I got to tell my husband that he was going to be a dad. That might actually be my favorite part - seeing his reaction.
Keeping positive and staying strong in my faith certainly helped me through some of the heartache, but there were dark times. If there is one thing I hope you take away from my experience it’s that this struggle is more common than you probably realize. The friend that doesn’t have kids yet, she might want them. She might be trying and struggling and your well-meaning “when will you have kids” inquiry is a punch in the heart every time.
So, that’s our journey from we to three. At the end of May 2016, our family unit of two will include a little boy to love and snuggle!
-Arianna