February
Weight (212) -2 lbs. since 1/1/21
BMI (29.6)
Workout Days (6)
Miles Hiked, Biked, or Run (5.91 Miles)
The response to this series has been beyond my wildest expectations. In the first few months, I felt a tremendous amount of support. As we moved through 2021, you kept reading and providing motivation. As I began thinking about writing projects for 2022, I decided to continue this journey. In part, I am choosing to continue sharing my triumphs and struggles because I need your help. I am also choosing to continue sharing, because I want everyone who stumbles across this post to know that they are not alone.
Weight Loss
I am headed in the wrong direction. The holidays were not kind to me, COVID finally found me at the beginning of the year, and some bad habits returned. I am knocking on the door of 214 lbs., which is where I was when this journey began over a year ago. I know what I need to do. Fixing this is totally within my power. For me, I think it begins with mindfulness. I need to be mindful of things I am eating, my time in the gym, and my mental health. If I cannot fix this, I am not sure anything else will change.
Diet
I am losing this battle in the kitchen. I eat without regard for the impact of my choices. A month into 2022, mindfulness has not appeared in my kitchen. Instead, I have been leaning on instant gratification. I have used food as an emotional Band-Aid. This must stop if I want to make any actual progress. I need to honor every piece of food in my presence and think deeply about its impact on my body. I must slow down and be present. Without a doubt, I will fail, but I must try.
Mental Health
Over the last month, I have not been kind to myself. When I look in the mirror, I tell myself the worst things. I say terrible things to myself. I wage war on the fat kid in the mirror. Once again, mindfulness must make an appearance. I must honor my struggle and celebrate wins when they present themselves. We are attempting to roll a rock up a steep hill here. Progress will be tedious. It will take even longer if I continue to emotionally wreck the person pushing the rock.
Workouts
I am slipping on my workouts. My schedule is calling the shots and cancelling trips to the gym. I must be mindful of these cancellations and how they destroy progress. I must remember the sense of joy and accomplishment I feel when I finish a session. Standing in front of a mirror after working out, I feel stronger and skinnier (even if it isn’t the truth). If I want to change, the gym must be a priority.
Be good to each other,
Nathan
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