I firmly believe that in every person’s life, they should work in retail or the restaurant industry. Throughout my five years in college, I did a little of both. In my freshman year of college, I worked at Walden Books inside of Quail Springs Mall. After that, I spent three years working at Bed, Bath & Beyond. During my senior year (a victory lap for those keeping score), I was a server at Hideaway Pizza and a part-time bartender at the UCO Jazz Lab.  

While each job provided unique lessons, my time as a server provided moments I will never forget. Reflecting on this time in my life, I now realize that serving was both the easiest and most stressful job I have ever had.  

On the surface, there was not much to my job at Hideaway Pizza. For those who aren’t from Oklahoma, Hideaway is a rather upscale pizza restaurant founded in Stillwater. The restaurant specializes in unique toppings, appetizers that have a cult following, beer, wine, and a few desserts I can still taste. My job was to take drink and food orders, keep glasses filled, wait on guests, and ensure prompt delivery of their food, timely service, and a clean environment.  

My first couple of months were rough. I was slow, forgetful, and often challenged by demanding guests. But once I got the hang of everything, I developed a system that worked for me. On most nights, I made really great tips and left each night without a horror story to tell. In fact, there were weeks when the rent was due in seven days. I would challenge myself to have it all paid for in seven days and a little extra for walking around money. I always made my self-imposed goal.  

But there were nights when everything seemed to go wrong. On those nights, this simple job of mine became the most stressful on the planet. Perhaps, I mistakenly entered an order into our system, the kitchen misread a ticket, or we were slow to get a customer their order. On those nights, the job tested every ounce of my strength, but it also revealed lessons I still use.  

My job at Hideaway taught me a lot of patience. Human beings are complicated creatures, and we are not always our best selves when we are hungry. In the restaurant world, I have been yelled at, talked down to, and tipped horribly. On multiple occasions, I had to ignore my instincts to defend myself from such cruelty. I had to display a patience and grace I never knew I possessed.  

In these moments, walking away from testy situations is rarely an option. They revealed another lesson, though. Now, instead of engaging with angry or rude people, I disengage and deescalate. I refuse to give people an opportunity to be their worst selves. When I feel these moments rising, I excuse myself and return when calmer heads have prevailed.  

This job also presented tremendous opportunities to grow my soft skills. Every shift at Hideaway was unique. I had no way of knowing who would sit in my section, their mood, or how the day had treated them. My job was to provide a great service in hopes of a great tip coming my way. In those opening moments when you first greet a table, I would work to get to know every guest. I would open with a joke, ask how people were doing, and then offer to do anything in my power to make their time with us the best it could be. On every return visit to fill glasses, drop off food, or clear a table, I would try to deepen the relationship. Having spent 15 years in the nonprofit sector as a professional communicator and fundraiser, I frequently think about the lessons learned from interacting with customers. There, I learned the ability to talk with anyone about anything.  

The last lesson the restaurant industry taught me may be the most important. I learned how to treat people who are working on my behalf. From people in the service industry to assistants who make my work possible, my time as a server made me more forgiving of mistakes. Because of those nights and days spent waiting tables, I assume the best of intentions, knowing things do not always go as planned. Sometimes, things are just out of your hands, or you are experiencing an off night. I do not think people should have their livelihoods threatened just for being a human being. In these moments, I try to offer a level of grace that I wish someone had shown me on my worst nights.  

The restaurant business or retail is not something I ever want to do again. Yet, I am so very thankful for the lessons it taught me. I appreciate them and where they have delivered me today. Without a doubt, I am a better employee, partner, and patron because of them.  

 Be good to each other,  

Nathan