It was the summer of 2021. Brandon and I are attending a friend’s wedding in Sonoma County. Before flying home, we decided to spend a night in San Francisco. Unfortunately, Brandon has homework and assignments due by midnight. He will join me for dinner, but I am left to my own devices as I explore the city.  

With a few hours to kill, I grab my camera and go for a long walk. We are staying in a hotel standing in the shadow of the famous Transamerica Pyramid. Walking uphill (which is something you do a lot of in San Francisco), I grab photos of alleyways and some of the beautiful architecture that defines this city. Slowly, I make my way to the waterfront and down to the Oakland Bay bridge before making it back to the hotel.  

Over dinner, Brandon and I are talking freely about anything and everything that comes to our attention. Then, I raise the subject of travel, something that is very important to me. I tell him at 37 I am disappointed to have not seen more of the world. After some discussion, we decided on a plan. In even-numbered years, we will travel to a domestic location. In odd-numbered years, we will set our sights on an international destination. We also decide to take turns deciding where we travel. Since I have been lucky enough to travel more than Brandon, I give him the opportunity to choose first. Much to my surprise, he wants to return to San Francisco in 2022.

Rockridge 

As an affordable housing advocate and employee, I know I should not support Airbnb. I know vacation homes remove housing from the stock of homes available for rent. They also help drive up the cost of existing rentals by removing available inventory. All this makes total sense to me, and I promise to do better in the future. For this trip, though, we rented an apartment in Rockridge. I promise to do better in the future.

We chose the Rockridge apartment for a few reasons. It was more affordable than staying in the city. It also had easy access to mass transit. Since we would not have a car on the trip, this was important. We also did not want to eat out every single day and wanted easy access to a kitchen. Beyond these three key features of our home, I knew little about the community.  

Arriving at our temporary home, we set our bags down, familiarized ourselves with the apartment, and went out to explore. Walking the streets of Rockridge, the access to shops, restaurants, bars, and stores blew away us. Everything we would need for the next week seemed to be a short walk away. With Airbnb rentals, I don't always get it right (see Brooklyn, NY 2021), but this time I nailed it.   

SFMOMA/Tonga Room/The Castro 

I tasked myself with planning our first full day in San Francisco. When I travel, I always seek a great local museum. I also wanted to take Brandon to one of my favorite spots in the city and visit The Castro for dinner and drinks.  

The San Francisco Museum of Modern Art is spectacular. I thought the entire collection was provoking, enthralling, and engaging. Honestly, there is too much to absorb, so much so that I would recommend you get there early. Our three or four hours spent there were some of my favorite of the entire trip. The museum can get rather crowded, so be sure to pack your patience. Beyond that, this destination is mandatory.  

My friend, Tim Hendrix, loved Tiki bars and Tiki culture. I first visited the Tonga Room with Tim in October 2018, about six months before Tim died. When Brandon and I began planning this trip, I knew I wanted to introduce Brandon to one of my favorite bars in America. I also wanted to return as a quiet homage to a friend I miss dearly.   

The Castro has probably changed more than any local would have ever wanted, but to me it remains an icon of gay culture in America. I wanted Brandon and I to end our first night in the city eating, walking its streets, and drinking in one of its many gay bars. As I write this, I cannot remember the name of the bar, which is probably a good sign. I remember, as I scanned the dance floor and looked at the man who will one day be my husband, a sense of pride washed over me. My journey of identity and acceptance was a long and arduous one, but occupying this space for a moment felt like affirmation and a cause for celebration.  

SF Zoo/My Mandatory Travel Stops  

I charged Brandon with planning our second full day. As a deep lover of animals, it did not surprise me when he mentioned the San Francisco Zoo. Now, I must admit that I knew very little about this zoo. It is not as famous as its cousin in San Diego, but after visiting, I found it to be stellar. It felt very walkable, approachable, and inviting. They organized the zoo in a fashion that makes sense. I also cannot recall a single enclosure where an animal was not visible. Without a doubt, this was one of the most surprising stops of the trip and a stop you must check out.  

When I travel, there are a couple of mandatory stops I almost always make. With very few exceptions, I always seek a local bookstore and a small independent record store. In Rockridge, we were lucky enough to have both within walking distance. Pegasus Books and Stranded Records Oakland, both on College Ave., have wonderful collections of books and records. I could have spent hours digging and entirely too much money purchasing. If you are ever in the area, I recommend giving them a chance.  

SF Botanical Garden/Japanese Tea Garden 

I am an amateur photographer but it is one of my favorite hobbies in the world. On this trip, I wanted to avoid shooting the Golden Gate Bridge or the city skyline again. Perhaps it is because I am my mother’s child, but I love shooting flowers and gardens in particular. On this trip, I selected the SF Botanical Garden and Japanese Tea Garden as an opportunity to spend some quality time outside, see a different side of the city, and snap some photos. As we walked through the gardens, the stillness of the space blew me away. It felt serene, and as if we were miles away from the city. I do not know if my photos are any good, but I left those spaces relaxed and filled with joy.  

Little Italy/Chinatown/Pier 39 

After leaving the gardens, we made our way to Chinatown and Little Italy. With no actual destination in mind, we walked through the heart of Chinatown. With every step, we poked our heads into little shops, eavesdropped on conversations in languages we do not understand, and interacted with people from all over the world. While we did not linger long, I left thinking, this is what I love about America.  

Before arriving at Acquolina in Little Italy, we had taken nearly 15,000 steps. All this work meant a hunger and a need for drinks was stirring deep inside us. Dining on the sidewalk, we ate Italian appetizers, sipped Aperol Spritzes, and people watched. That moment is a moment I hope I will never forget.  

Do not go to Pier 39. It is a tourist trap.  

Travel Styles  

I can sum my travel style up with one word—researcher. Months before a trip, I will read countless articles and blogs about a location. I will save things to see and do. I will also try to do some research on the local area to get a sense of its history. When I arrive, I do not need every moment of every single day planned out. Rather, I like to select something from my list. See it and then explore the surrounding neighborhood. Traveling this way always leaves me both satisfied and surprised.  

Brandon’s travel style is much more laid back. He is easygoing and without an itinerary. He does not have an agenda. It also takes some work to see if he is enjoying something.  

Our travel styles complement each other well, but I often must remind myself that he is not disinterested. His travel style is just different from mine, and that’s more than fine.  

Mission Dolores Park 

For our last day in San Francisco, I wanted to spend some time exploring the neighborhood around Mission Dolores Park. More than anything, I wanted to eat, shop, and get lost for a little while. As we sat in the park overlooking the city after hours of exploring, I could not have picked a better neighborhood to do all those things.  

Foodie Day–Tacolicious, Double Rainbow Ice Cream, Twin Peaks, Mountain Man Pizza 

Tacolicious, a local San Francisco chain, made me so happy. I ordered two tacos: Guajillo-Braised Beef and Chicken Tinga. Both were delicious and hit the spot after a long morning of exploring.  

Double Rainbow Ice Cream is an ice cream shop in The Castro. Here, I treated myself to the Strawberry Cheesecake. It was divine. Eating it in The Castro is probably as close as I will ever come to the set of The Golden Girls.  

Twin Peaks is a bar next to Double Rainbow Ice Cream. They are a cash only bar featuring a more mature gay crowd. Seriously, Brandon and I were the youngest people in the room. The strong drinks more than made up for that awkwardness.  

Mountain Man Pizza is in Oakland. To the casual observer walking the streets of The Bay area, one could easily jump to the conclusion that the entire area is obsessed with pizza. Around almost every corner, we would discover some alluring and intoxicating aroma, only to discover it was pizza. After 6 days of this, I ended my trip with a pizza. Mountain Man Pizza was hot, delicious, and so very satisfying.  

49 Square Miles Can Change the World  

San Francisco is 7 miles north to south and 7 miles east to west. Packed inside of those 49 square miles are nearly 900,000 souls. Stretching out to encompass the entire bay area, 7 million people call this part of the world home. Their collective choices and history have built one of the most fascinating cities in the United States. That history has changed the world. From its founding to the LGBTQ+ movement to the tech explosion, what happens here changes the conversation.  

I have always found San Francisco fascinating. It is a shame I waited so long for my first visit, but I am confident our paths will continue to cross. Whether inside of its city limits or via the reverberations of its impact, I will continue learning, loving, and exploring this special place.  

Be good to each other,  

Nathan