3rd Time Through

At different stages in my life, I have arrived at this book. The first time I read it, I was in my mid-twenties beginning to get serious about dating. The second time was as a young professional learning how to show appreciation to my colleagues. Now, I arrive at this book in the midst of a five-year relationship with a partner I hope to marry. No matter the stage, I have learned something about myself with every single read of this book and my relationships have blossomed because of it.

My Love Language

In my professional relationships, I value words of affirmation. They give me fuel and serve as a barometer for my choices. In my romantic relationship, I respond to gifts and personal touch almost equally. Both languages are a display of value and longing. Gifts show me you were thinking of me even when we weren’t together. Physical touch fills me with confidence and shows me you are able to look beyond the personal hang-ups I possess about my own appearance.

Recognizing My Partner’s Language

I haven’t successfully convinced Brandon to read this book, yet. That hasn’t kept me from trying to guess his love language. Of the five love languages, he responds really positively to the act of receiving gifts. For me, this means I attempt to be really thoughtful about big gifts I give as proof that I am listening intently. It also means something as simple as an unexpected pint of ice cream from the store will bring a smile to his face. With all this said, I am still trying to convince him to read the book, so I know for sure.

Growing Old Together

Since reading this book for the third time, I have begun a weekly activity of asking Brandon to assess his “love tank” and how full it is on a scale of 1-10. If he isn’t a ten, this lets me know there is something I need to work on to improve. If he is at a ten, it gives me proof that I need to amplify what I am doing. The conversation around his choice in number has been the most gratifying part. Already, I can see it pulling us closer together. Without a doubt, this is an activity I hope to continue for the foreseeable future.

Be good to each other,

Nathan  

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