A Reader: “Talking to Strangers” by Malcolm Gladwell

Why We Need Truth

“Talking to Strangers” by Malcolm Gladwell is the book we need right now. In the shadow of a contentious presidential election and four years in which distrust in the very institution meant to inform and protect us has come into question, we, as a society, have defaulted toward disbelieving information challenging our worldview. Gladwell rightfully argues that we cannot function in such a manner. Instead, he proposes we should assume the best of intentions until proven wrong. Personally, this has been a strategy I have been trying to employ in my own life for a few years now. It is not my default position but keeps me sane.

Truth in Civil Society

American society is not without its bad actors. There are those among us who intend to only help themselves. They cheat, steal, swindle, and feed their own egos. Knowing this, I still believe the hearts of most people I meet are good. They believe in truth and strive to do no harm. When confronted with new realities about race, sexism, ableism, gender norms, and systemic privileges, they honestly work toward bending the arch of what they can change toward truth. It is these people who make civil society possible. We should celebrate them much more than someone who is only concerned with their own wellbeing.   

Coupling

Gladwell spends considerable time in this book on the concept of coupling, which is defined as, “The idea that behavior is linked to very specific circumstances and conditions.” To drive his point home, he discusses inner-city crime and suicide rates. I found this section of the book fascinating. As he discussed how criminologists and police forces respond to high crime areas and how access to means of self-harm increases suicide, I could not help but think of how our inability to default to truth leads us away from obvious facts. Point being, want to lower crime? Build community and increase opportunity. Want to lower suicide rates? Lower access to the means of self-harm.

Default to Truth

I do not know if I will ever naturally default to the truth. I am a creature of my experiences, the news I consume, and the pop culture I digest. I have been taught to be suspicious, fearful, and diligent. This way of thinking causes real harm. This harm can be systemic and has cost people their lives. Knowing this, all I can do is promise myself is to be better. I want to be slower to judge, more attentive in my listening, and more thoughtful in my intentions. Doing this will not change society, but it is a start.

Be good to each other,

 Nathan

A Reader: “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert

The Healing Power of Travel

So much of what troubles us is born from the routines we create for ourselves. These routines are born out of a need to survive. We need to work because we need a home, a new car, trendy clothes, and to keep up with our neighbors. When we take a step back, it is realized this race does not really make us happy. We need to escape. We need the healing power of travel to reconnect to the most important things in our lives. We travel to discover ourselves, our partner, and to place proper value in experiences over possessions.

Spending Time with Your Thoughts

This book spends a lot of time focusing on the value of spending time with your thoughts. Traveling Italy on a solo adventure, digging deeper into a meditation practice at the cradle of a religious movement, or allowing yourself to fall in love on an island in the south Asian sea, for our author none of the life-altering changes can come to fruition if we do not know ourselves. As someone who has discovered the joy of meditation, I can attest to this realization.

Spiritual, Not Religious

Spiritual, but not religious has become a cliché for my generation. For me, it means turning away from organized religion and focusing on knowing myself and believing in the positive power of humankind. I have no way of knowing if there is or ever was a God. I find myself in a constant search for more evidence. A part of that search is focused on spending time meditating, reading, listening, and being open to learning more. Religion will always be there and it is my sincere hope I can rediscover it someday with eyes wide open.

Love, Finally  

I do not know how we can love someone else without first knowing ourselves. When I read this book, I see a woman on a grand quest to discover her fundamental self. This exercise is so necessary because it made her a more open, loving, and appreciative human being. For myself, my own journey has mirrored this path of exploration. I had to become comfortable with who I am. The path was winding, difficult, and heartbreaking, but what I discovered on the other side was life-changing.

Be good to each other,

Nathan

A Reader: “Through Painted Deserts” by Donald Miller

The Healing Power of the Road Trip

Once a year, I embark on an extended road trip. Usually, on my own, I find this time to be healing. For hours, I can find myself lost in thought pondering big questions, mulling over small details, thinking of what to write next, searching for value, and/or singing at the top of my lungs as if the whole world were a stage. In a world this noisy, we are not afforded a lot of these opportunities. The more hectic life becomes, the less time we seem to be able to find for ourselves. For me, nothing remedies this like asphalt, yellow lines, and some far-off destination.

The Grand Canyon

I have been lucky enough to visit the Grand Canyon twice in my life, but never for a considerable amount of time. On my next visit, I plan to spend several days exploring and attempting a rim to rim hike. I want to get lost in the beauty of the canyon and see where such majesty takes my mind. Much like an extended road trip, hiking provides an opportunity to reset my batteries and get lost in endless thought without much care given to time or place. As I write this, I can only imagine the healing that one of geology’s greatest feats can provide.

Why Questions

In this book, we find two friends driving across the country from Texas to Oregon. As they spend hours staring at the landscape, the big “why questions” of life begin to rise. Why are we here? Why violence, disease, and heartbreak? Why do we suffer? While these questions are not easily answered, I find them to be profoundly important. My favorite part of the process is not the attempt to construct a perfect answer, but rather the time spent with others in the pursuit. Sure, the debate will rage, and disagreements will occur, but great friendships are built upon an attempt to uncover these truths.

Needing God

This book ends with declarations about man’s need for God. Ultimately, for our author, the road trip, the Grand Canyon, and pondering big questions was all about discovering a need for God. If you are open to it, I can totally understand finding God in these instances, but I would like to offer a different perspective.

On a solo road trip, I am often reminded of my own power and the luck I possess to experience such beauty. On a hike, I see my privilege and experience joy as I found myself communing with nature. As I ponder those big questions of life, I see all that man has accomplished and all the work left to be done.

I write these things, not in some attempt to start an argument. Just as a mere statement of how two people can experience the same thing but walk away with wildly different points of view.

Be good to each other,

Nathan

“The Echoing Green” by Joshua Prager”

Baseball’s History

Football has replaced baseball as America’s favorite pastime. Fewer people call themselves a fan of the sport and even fewer seem to tune in for the fall classic. Not me, though. As I grow older, the more I come to appreciate baseball’s history. This book serves as an introduction to a sport in which I have only begun to scratch the surface. My hope is with each book I will develop a deeper understanding and love for a sport that I deeply admire for its pace, pressure, and deep-seated hold on the American psyche.

The Cleveland Indians

I have been a fan of the Cleveland Indians since I was a little kid. Over the course of my life, I have watched them lose three World Series; two of them in extra innings during the seventh game of the World Series. I have watched their dreaded title streak continue and become the longest in Major League Baseball. As I read this book, I could not help but think of the suffering I have endured thanks to a group of men who I have no control over. I also could not help but think of the hundreds of reasons I keep returning season after season to cheer on my beloved Indians.

The Loser

“History is written by the winners.” In this book, we are treated to a rare tale and offered a glimpse into the life of a pitcher who let one get away from him and ended up costing his team the pennant. Through stories about Ralph Branca, we see the five stages of grief. We see a man who could have been great. We see a man come to terms with the fact the Giants cheated and how that impacts his legacy. Taken together, being able to see life through the eyes of the loser was refreshing and welcomed.

The Pain of Sports  

Nothing hurts like sports. From the comfort of our living room or the stands of a stadium, our fandom turns us into monsters. We speak of “us and we” when referring to a team in which we have no say or ability to influence the outcome. We rant. We scream. We cry. And some of us destroy. More often than not, we find ourselves on the losing side and then we make a silent agreement to ourselves to do it all again. We put ourselves through hell on the slim chance that celebration and ecstasy will be ours one day.

“Catch-22” by Joseph Heller

Young Men, Young Women, and War

When reading “Catch-22” by Joseph Heller, it is nearly impossible to not think of the young men and women we send to fight our battles. War often begins when compromise ends. When this happens, the youth of a country has the unfortunate duty of going to war. In America, we take the poorest and least educated, train them, fill them with patriotism, and then send them off to solve rich people’s disagreements. Since the Vietnam War, the sacrifice of our young men and women has often felt like human collateral in the ultimate show of national might instead of a mission to vanquish evil from the face of the Earth. If you believe this to be true, this book will not make you feel any better. If anything, it will only give you more to wrestle with when the beginnings of war start to linger.

God on the Battlefield

“There are no atheists in a foxhole.”

There is this assumption that when faced with the possibility of death all of us turn to God. This idea is something this book tries to address via an ongoing debate. Beyond the foxhole, I have also heard it said, “We are all pagans during the good times.” What is it about the threat of death that makes us believe? What about living keeps us from needing a higher power. While I have never been to war, I have felt this pull in my darkest hours. For me and for a brief moment, it was about seeking comfort and needing to know someone was in charge. I assume, for others, it must be about hedging bets for what awaits you on the other side.

The Reality of War

We think of our entry into War World II, as necessary. Heller wrote this book with Vietnam on his mind but used the second great war as the backdrop. This choice was pretty powerful in my mind. By doing so, he was allowed an opportunity to paint the realities of war. Even with the necessity of this war, we understand servicemembers were still fearful of dying. We are made to understand the odds were stacked against them. We walk away from this book knowing not everyone who serves is G.I. Joe. The majority of those people who serve are just like you and me. They want to come home, find someone to marry, and live a normal life. The only difference is that on a daily basis they must face the reality of losing all we hold dear.

War’s End

How war ends is just as curious as its beginning. We like to think it ends when the enemy is defeated, yet the endless war on terrorism has provided a different outlook. World War II became about ending fascism, ending Germany’s overreach, and avenging an attack on American soil. We knew these wars would end when the enemy surrendered. The Korean, Vietnam, and wars in Afghanistan and Iraq became about defeating an idea, communism and terrorism. Ideas are impossible to defeat. They can linger in the shadow of men’s hearts long after the final bullet has been fired. They can withstand the test of time. They can live longer than those who declared war in the first place. America has not learned how to handle this new reality. If we never do, I fear endless bloodshed and spending of riches trying to defeat something which can never die.

Be good to each other,

Nathan 

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