On a daily basis, almost without fail, I write. In a world filled with noise and endless distraction, I find refuge in a blank, white computer screen and the flickering thought of what might come next. It is my way of processing the world and what I experience. Most of the time, this means thinking deeply about the entertainment I digest, the books I read, places I travel, and the food I eat. At other times, this can mean sharing lessons learned from moments both big and small. What I write has always been part journal and part musings from a partially examined life. I have always chosen to share my thoughts in the hopes of starting a dialogue.

With this understanding, this piece is for my dad. Losing your father is a monumental experience. It deserves attention. It deserves examination. In my mind, as a writer, I think it deserves to be shared. To experience such an event is natural. It is meant to be the order of things. If things progress naturally, it will happen to all of us.

If we are honest with ourselves, we understand our names will not ring for eternity. If we are lucky, our names will last a few generations. With each passing iteration of family and friends, the light containing our name will flicker until it is no more. One day, who said or did what will be lost to time. This does not mean our time on this planet does not matter. On the contrary, it gives purpose to the time we do have. While we have a better chance of winning the lottery than being the next Caesar, Lincoln, or King, we should still strive for greatness, small acts which can cause ripples throughout time and space, and small gestures of selflessness that can make a world of difference.

When I examine the legacy of Eldon Box, my father, I do not see a man who will be remembered forever. Yet, I see a man whose ideals will stand the test of time. What he stood for will last longer than his name. If he were sitting here today, I can imagine him saying, “Such a truth is more than fine by me.”

Those ideals are important, and they are lessons instilled deep within me. Now, if you will indulge me, I would like to share some of his most concrete and foundational teachings.

Any man can father a child, but being a dad is much more powerful. Dads show up. They teach. They correct. They show their softer side without fear. They model behavior. They provide. They empower. They do not stand in the way of their partner. They let them shine brightly. They forgive. They learn. They adapt. They provide unconditional love. They hope to build better versions of themselves. They celebrate and they console. They share and they give. They know themselves. They are gentle. They are loving. They are supportive. They are men we should choose to emulate.

Patriotism comes in many forms. For some, it means service in the military. For others, service can come in the form of nonprofit work, volunteerism, politics, and/or advocacy. This grand American experiment demands active participation from us all. We should focus less on winning and scoring points for our side. Instead, we should be solely focused on perfecting our slice of this union for those who follow in our footsteps.

Our families should come first. We have an obligation to those most immediately standing in our circle of influence. Our families deserve selflessness and presence. They deserve the best of ourselves. They deserve to know we are not superheroes, but flawed vessels still working toward something better. They deserve a name filled with pride and power. They deserve to know power comes in many forms, but outward power focused on making the world a better place is a power worthy of our pursuit. Again, they deserve love.

Our friends deserve kindness, forgiveness, and generosity. Our friends deserve hours lost to laughter. They deserve shoulders to cry on when the world gets tough. They deserve the shirt off our backs. They deserve time and patience. They deserve us showing up when needed. They deserve to feel like family.

These are lessons taught by my father that I will never forget. These lessons are also only the tip of an exceptionally large iceberg. Underneath the water’s surface, there are countless others. Many of these lessons have yet to reveal themselves to me and will only be uncovered with the passing of time. I am confident many of them will come to me with the force of a tsunami. They will find me in the strangest places, and they will find me when I need them the most.

If this is what we aspire to in our interactions with our children, our partner, our country, and our families, then our nameless legacy will be much stronger. The world may not remember us, but our actions can contribute to a universal sense of truth.

Eldon, dad, I thank you for the lessons. I am a better man, citizen, partner, friend, and family member because of them. I and all who knew you are the personification of your legacy. I cannot promise a name etched in stone. I can only promise a continuation of the ripples you made with the examples you provided. Your name will not be remembered forever, but those things you held dear will stand the test of time.

Be good to each other,

Nathan 

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