Recommendation: 4/5 Stars, SHOWTIME

Plot: “A Chinese family discovers their grandmother has only a short while left to live and decide to keep her in the dark, scheduling a wedding to gather before she dies.” -IMDB

Review: If you’ve lived in the western world for your entire life, you might assume that people across the globe treat death the same way. In the United States, when someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness, everyone they know, and love is made aware as soon as possible. We do this because we know how finite time is and we want to be able to say our goodbyes before it is too late. Until I saw this movie, I believed everyone wanted to be afforded this opportunity. “The Farewell” shattered my worldview and exposed me to a new way of thinking. It revealed a certain level of coziness that can be found in death if executed correctly.

At its core, this film is a cultural reflection of east meeting west. It is framed around a granddaughter raised in the west wrestling with the cultural norms of the east. It unwraps this tension beautifully through family exchanges and decisions made for the dying grandmother. As a product of the United States, I found myself frustrated, shocked, and angry. Those feelings are precisely the point of this movie.

In order for the family to rally around the grandmother without telling her why a young couple’s wedding is expediated. On the faces of every family member, there is an emotional burden present for those fighting what constitutes a good lie and if the truth should be revealed. Going with the flow, we are treated to some of the most tender, honest, and heartfelt moments of the entire film. It is the extended wedding scene that sells this movie because more than an exchange of vows it feels like a funeral for the living.

When the wedding ends, it becomes everyone’s duty to return home. As the granddaughter takes a seat in a car headed for the airport, the emotional weight of everything she has had to keep secret almost becomes palpable. As an audience member, you believe this is goodbye for good. I was led to believe the grandmother somehow knew her fate. As the car pulls away, I found beauty in the lie. My worldview wasn’t changed. It was broadened and that was the point the whole time.

Be good to each other,

-Nathan

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