What is a life without purpose? What is a life unshared with someone you love? What is a life void of deep and meaningful friendships? 

I am at a crux. I write these words bloody, restless and with reckless abandon. I do so while at the same time violating a sacred rule: never write when my emotions are getting the best of me. Never ever expose the raw. 

Last night, my thoughts consumed me. They wouldn't let me sleep. Between the tears and the knot in my gut, fears were exposed alongside the realities of the moment. I am stuck in a job that doesn't fulfill me. I am consumed by loneliness. And my circle of friends continues to draw smaller. 

After the dust has settled, a fundamental question remains; What am I going to do about it? At this point, I don't know. The chaos is suffocating. I hate chaos. 

So, I write this seeking advice. I write this for my mental health. I write this, because I am scared. 

Thanks for entering my world, 

-Nathan